Mega Post! ARTFLOP scam in Spain and more!

We're listening to G.U.Y+celebrating over 1.2 million ARTPOP albums worldwide and 7 sold out shows at Roseland! Xx pic.twitter.com/LQalheOjbo
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) November 27, 2013

Not so fast Caca.  Turns out there's been a little unscrupulous and not so stealthy dealings going down in the land of the Flamenco dance.  Gaga received her first gold record for ARTPOP in Spain. An artist has to sell 20,000 copies in Spain to achieve gold record status; 40,000 for platinum.  

A list of album sales in Spain was leaked for the week of the 9th--15th December and not only did ARTPOP fail to meet the minimum to get a gold record, she failed miserably along the way.  ARTPOP has only sold 12,000 copies in Spain!  That's it!  Yet, the country awarded her with a gold record.  To be fair, this didn't happen only to Stefani. Spanish artists Antonio Orozco and Abraham Mateo were also awarded a platinum and gold record even though they both did not meet the requirements either. There is no information that eludes that the artists, their management  or record companies are involved in the sketchiness. Two weeks later, all have yet to match the minimum sales need to secure gold and platinum status. 

So what's the deal Promusicae?  Are artists paying you off or are you too lazy to properly track and monitor sales?

Thank you Leo for sending this to me.  Source.

                                                                                                                                                                                

Do you want proof that sweeping pedophilia and rape under the rug won't help your song chart? Thanks to Kworb, I can give you just that.

Lady Gaga's Do What I Can Do (To Save My Song) Do What U Want featuring Christina Aguilera is trailing behind the same song featuring alleged child rapist R.Kelly, on the U.S. chart.  The pedo version is doing better than the save my ass version!  Not a good sign at all.  The new version won't save the song or Gaga's career.  Stick a fork in'er. She's done.

Plus, Gaga's fans are losing their patience.  It's almost a month since Gaga tweeted about the upcoming video and they haven't see anything thus far.

I know you're waiting for the DWUW video. Its unlike any video I've ever done. Very Personal. Just making it perfect. Exciting, #ARTPOP
— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) December 4, 2013

Coincidentally, the video not only has a sexual deviant in front of the camera, but it also features one BEHIND the camera too!  Oh Gagster!

Photo: Lady Gaga and R. Kelly behind the scenes for their new music video “Do What U Want” directed by Me…... http://t.co/20DXJpqfqr
— Terry Richardson (@Terry_World) December 13, 2013

Looks like Gaga is trying to salvage her song and career by ditching the pedo and releasing a video with Christina instead.  So Monsters, it will be at least 4 months before you see a video. Which means it's 4 months more of beating the shit out of this song!

What do you think of the song featuring Christina?

                                                                                                                                                                                

Gaga's ex-boyfriend Luc Carl is threatening to sue Gaga's long time friend, DJ and author of “Rivington Was Ours” Brendan Jay Sullivan.  In Sullivan's book, he details the beginnings of Gaga's career and paints Carl out to be the bad guy.  Gaga apparently was a doormat and changed her appearance to be what Luc Carl wanted, a blond chick, among other concessions made to be accepted.  Carl, a NYC bartender allegedly dictated who Stefani could talk to and where she could work while he surrounded himself with a harem of drunk girls.  Carl says,  

“I was fucking miserable, and it wasn’t her fault. It was my fault for being a drunk asshole. I would have left me, too.”

Carl authored a book called The Drunk Diet that Gaga actively pushed while they were dating.  Luc, don't feel so bad for being a drunk asshole. It looks like you weren't driving that car by yourself. Carl has also stated that he resents that his own career has been overshadowed by the fact that he's Gaga's ex.   

Carl currently hosts his own metal show on Sirius XM Radio called Hair Nation and he's blocked GagaCheat on Twitter. I wonder why? If you follow Carl on Twitter, make sure you tell him GagaCheat says hi!

                                                                                                                                                                             

It wouldn't be nice of me to forget to congratulate Gaga on her very first acting nomination!  Rumor has it that Gaga will be nominated for her very own Razzie Award for her performance as La Camaleón in Machete Kills.  Jesus Gaga, you appeared in a film for 5 minutes and you managed to land an award nomination!  That's amazing!  Good for you!  Cate Blanchett, watch out.

            

Do What You Want Desperation

Well folks, it looks like Lady Gaga is going to get every last drop of milk out of the Do What You Want cow.  On Jan 1st, she's releasing the single again, only this time it's with Christina Aguilera and not a pedophile rapist. I guess it's a step up.

She's really desperate for this song to hit No.1 song isn't she? She's has one song with five different paths in front of her and she's walking them all.  Even if that means amputating her body parts and throwing a piece down each one. Try, try, try hard and harder.  I don't have much to say about this latest surprise (not a surprise) development because it's as predictable as Donatella Versace's next face lift.  But I do have a tip.  If you want your song to do well Stefani, maybe you shouldn't work with pedophiles.  The damage is done. You could redo this song with Maria Von Trapp and it still won't erase the fact that you swept underage rape and pedophilia under the rug.  Just sayin'.

VH1 Ten Biggest FLOPS of 2013

While Lady Gaga continues to spin Do What You Want around the toilet hoping it won't flush; or as she continues to lie to herself and the public about all the sales and successes of ARTPOP, we all know the truth. ARTPOP was a massive failure.  The failure was so grand that there is an unconfirmed rumor that Interscope had to lay off hundreds of employees because the record company spent too much money on the album.  It barely made a dent on the Billboard Charts and it flew up the irrelevancy barometer faster than a line of coke up Gaga's nose.

VH1 released it's list of the 10 biggest flops of 2013.  Behold, I present to you, the list.

10. 98 Degrees Reunion (no shit)

9. The Other Two Members Of Destiny’s Child (I honestly feel bad for these two for having to live constantly in BeYAWNce's shadow)

8. American Idol (Is this still on TV?)

7. Mariah Carey (I don't think her ego can handle her ego's ego)

6. Britney Spears, Britney Jean (Are we really that surprised after hearing Work Bitch?  Be honest)

5. Azealia Banks (Who?)

4. Kanye West, Bound 2 Music Video (He might have dodged this list if he accelerated to mach speed, jumped off the bike and let it go over a cliff off the Mulholland Highway.  With Kim K still on it of course)

3. Justin Timberlake, The 20/20 Experience Pt. II (I didn't know there was a Pt. I)

2. Lana Del Rey, Tropico Short Film (I'm torn about this one. The film is definitely self indulgent with no purpose at all. It wasn't made to accompany a new single but instead it was a 27 min long film with 3 of Del Rey's older songs. It seems like a reason for Lana to film herself. The cinematography is beautiful and Del Rey's lyrics are clever. I'll give her that.  Her music is much more mature and thought provoking than Caca's, by a country mile)

Which brings us to No.1.  Are you ready?  The No.1 spot goes to......

LADY GAGA - ARTPOP!!!

"Perhaps in a decade from now, fans and critics alike will look back on this album as something special for the music it delivered. Until then, Artpop will just be regarded as a massive commercial failure focused squarely too much on stunts and not on the music. Given how much Gaga outdoes herself with each new album, it is no surprise that Artpop buckled under the pressure. However no one is feeling the pain more than her record label, which sank $25 million into making this spectacle profitable while Lorde, Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus easily ran away with all the success and the attention."

What would Lady Gaga do?

               

       

What would Lady Gaga do if she found this stray dog lying on pile of garbage?  I'll tell you what she'd do.  She'd take it to Versace, where that putrid hag Donatella would personally skin the animal with her teeth and make a new Haute Cruelture coat for the evil pop star.  Stefani would look on, as her mouth foams with blood, in anticipation for the latest fashion addition to her closet of cruelty.

 

Christina! Wipe that shit from your upper lip!

I bit the bullet and watched the live-stream of The Voice Finale where Christina Aguilera and Lady Gaga shared the stage for the first time.  Gaga came out first, dressed like a cross between an 80's Dance Fever reject contestant and a Heaven's Gate cult member.  She started to beat that dead horse called Do What You Want and Christina joined her a few minutes later.  She sang the pedo R Kelly's lyrics.  The performance was just ok.  It wasn't the worst I've seen.  

Christina must have been zapped with "fuck my brain" lasers while locked and brainwashed inside Gaga's egg before the show, because the ass kissing was way over the top and totally vomit inducing. Christina's pandered "This is the first time I met her and let me tell you, she is the most down to earth girl I have ever met in the industry. Seriously, from one female to another. I love you girl".  BARF!!  

Christina also confirmed that Gaga asked her to perform together.  You do know what's going on here don't you? Perez Hilton is going on Howard Stern in January to spill the beans and part of that has to do with Christina. They both tried and pretty much succeeded in sabotaging Christina's career because she ended up as a judge on a singing competition show.  Bionic flopped, thanks to Gaga and Perez.  Gaga knows Perez is going to talk and she tried to get the upper hand by extending a faux olive branch to Christina and luring her to her side.  There is nothing sincere in this new found friendship.  Gaga is not down to earth.  She is so pretentious and manipulative. She's definitely overdoing the "nice" to disarm Christina; and it's working.  Just like snake in the grass, Gaga put a bullet up Christina's ass. Only she doesn't know it yet.

The biggest joke of the night was Carson Daly saying on live TV that ARTPOP is No.1 worldwide. Yeah, for like 60 seconds!  Gaga's face was priceless!  She had that deer caught in the headlights look but she didn't correct him.

               

And here's how Christina got her upper lip dirty.

               

Lady Gaga is the new Spinal Tap

Spinal Tap moment

A Spinal Tap moment.  I couldn't have said it better myself.  That's the perfect analogy to describe Lady Gaga's ARTFLOP era.  Spinal Tap, a faux rock band and genius mockumentary poking fun at the rock n'roll lifestyle, playing up the douche baggery of the stars and the pretentiousness that follows super stardom.  When a star reaches this plateau, extreme delusion takes over, leading them to think that anything they do is ground breaking, praise worthy, monumental and, uh, art.  Instead, it generates eye rolls and laughter.  Kanye West anyone?

Stefani's ARTPOP era has her churning out incredible nonsense that you have to wonder if she's actually believing it herself.  The extremely sad thing is that she does.  That's what makes her the new Spinal Tap because just like the band in the film, she is believing her own hype.  Three big Spinal Tap moments for me was when she fell of her piano, Volantis the Flying Dress and the Abramovic Method video.  When I first saw the two, I couldn't believe she actually thought this was a good idea!

                                  

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Honestly, what is this?  I laughed for days after I saw this.  I was embarassed for her. There are some things you should never put on the Internet and this dolt in the forest video is a perfect example.   Is it any wonder that Troy Carter walked because I'm starting to think that's exactly what happened. He jumped off that speeding train before it ran off it's rails and crashed head on into the side of a mountain.  Stefani has completely lost focus on what made her so appealing in 2008. She's lost that edge and that quality that made her stand out from the rest.  Now she's a pop star parody and no one takes her seriously anymore.

Maureen Callahan, the same author that wrote The Rise and Fall of Lady Gaga, published a scathing article in the New York Post.  What happened to Lady Gaga she asks.  That's a question with a cornucopia of answers.   Callahan breaks it down in such a way that even Stefani would be hard pressed to not understand.  

What was your Gaga "Spinal Tap" moment?

It's Official. The general public is sick of Lady Gaga.

NBC T.V. show The Voice finale is this upcoming Tuesday, where a winner will be crowned. The show is adding a few stars and one hack to the lineup.  Celine Dion, Ne-Yo, One Republic and Lady Gaga are set to perform. Stefani will perform Do What You Want on the show.  Honestly, why even bother.  That song is deader than Mariah Carey's career.  It's like she's trying to get roadkill to sit up.

The announcement was made on The Voice Facebook page and the reaction of the general public is a hilarious protest and utterly embarrassing for Caca.

@adamlevine @Xtina Aren't you excited! The "artiste" gets to grace you with her presence. #LadyGaga #TheVoice #ImJealousNOT #LuckyYou
— Gaga Cheat (@MissStef0318) December 12, 2013

That isn't even half of it!  It's official!  The public wants to lock Lady Gaga inside rocket #9, forget to fill the tank and tip it off the side of planet Earth; sending her on an ARTFLOP holiday for the rest of eternity.