Now Gaga's Noisy Shoes Won't STFU

Apparently Lady Gaga's favourite shoes are making audible sounds that can only be heard in her own head.  The Queen of Narcissism cannot have a moment of normality because she always needs to be reminded through ladies apparel that she is worshipped and that she's better than everyone else.

Stefani says “There’s this one pair of shoes I’ve had for years and they cost like 25 dollars", the Sun quoted her as saying.

“I have such an emotional attachment to the shoes that every time I see them I can hear the fans screaming.”

Can you just picture it?  The Tinkerbell moment happens in real time, all the time.  She puts on those little shoes, clicks her heels three times and like magic, there she is back on stage reveling in the screams of little monsters, crying for her, begging to touch her, fainting at her mere presence.  Always needing that constant reminder that she's a superstar.  

                                                                                                                                                                  

Stefani exits from the glass of her boudoir, looking disturbed and insecure.  Nicola Formichetti is surfing the net for the next thing he can help Gaga steal for tomorrow's photo shoot.

Stefani

BITCH! Where's my fucking shoes????!!!

Nicola looks up and leaps to pick up Stefani's shoes.

Nicola Formichetti

Here!

Stefani

Ah! Oh how I needed you my little cheap shoes, my little monsters that I wear on my feet.

Stefani puts the shoes on and walks to the mirror and makes an orgasmic face.

Stefani

Mmmm.  Oh...ah!  Can you hear that Nicola?

Nicola looking puzzled responds

Nicola

Hear what?

Stefani

Them! Can you hear them?

Nicole

Them?

Stefani

Yes silly!  My little monsters!  Can't you hear them screaming. Screaming for me.  They love

me.  They want me! I mean, who wouldn't? Look at me! 

I'm Lady Gaga!

Everytime I put on these shoes, I can hear them screaming for me, wanting me, pulling at me.

Stefani closes her eyes and starts swaying back and forth and dancing by herself and softly singing under her breath

 Stefani

Yeah something about, baby, you and I
You and I
You, you and I
You, you and I
You, you and I, I
You and I 

 

If I go for more than 5 minutes without my shoes when I'm alone, I start to feel as if

I'm fading into the background.  As if, if, I'm not special anymore.  As if I'm back in high school

again. OH NO! Not high school! ARGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH! MAKE IT STOP,

MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Stefani starts violently shaking and pulling at her hair and biting her arms.

Nicola

Gaga! Stop it!

Nicola rushes to Gaga's side and grabs her by the shoulders and slaps her.  Stefani stops and looks

at him, stunned.

Stefani

What did you do that for?

Nicola

Bitch, you started freaking out! Pull your shit together girl!

Nicola rubs Stefani's shoulders.

Nicola

I can hear them.  I can hear them all the time.  They LOVE you. Everyone loves you.  

There's no one like you Gaga.

Stefani

Not even Madonna?

Nicola

No, not even Madonna.  Madonna? That fucking hack?  Who's Madonna?

Stefani and Nicola start laughing uncontrollably.

Nicola

Now come with me baby girl.  Come have a look at what I found online.

Nicola leads Stefani to his laptop. 

Nicola

Look here.

Stefani

What is it?

Nicola

It's Pink.  She's the next one were going to *cough* pay homage to.  We'll cut your hair real short

and now you're going to be all punk rock type but more bad ass because Pink is a 

wanna be.  We'll throw in some Courtney Love and you'll learn to play

guitar and when you're up on stage, you put that right foot on

the amplifier just like Courtney does. 

Stefani

Oooo.....I like it, I really, really like it.

                                                                                                                                                                 

There, I just wrote a scene for Stefani's upcoming Lifetime MOW (movie of the week).

Gaga Displays Narcissistic Behavior While in London

When Gaga was in London last week she popped to a local boozer and was a bit miffed when no one recognised her. Minus her usual face full of slap, wacky wig and outrageous outfit, she drew no attention whatsoever while sipping vodka and tonic at the Duke of Wellington pub in Chelsea.

I’m told: “Staff didn’t recognise her. She had no make-up on and very normal clothes, just baggy trousers and butch, black, flat shoes. And definitely no wig.

“Gaga was chatting to staff, complimenting one on her tattoo.

“But within half an hour she was overheard saying, ‘This is crazy, I can’t believe no one recognises me.’ Weirdly, she then started making outrageous comments to people passing by and generally drawing attention to herself.”

SOURCE

 

SOURCE  

Gaga - Marry the Night Video

Oh, I see.  This is the look she's going for.

Madonna's Papa Don't Preach video stills and Lady Xerox on the set of her Copy Marry the Night video

Lady Gaga Doesn't Care for Children's Fun

Lady Goo Goo

Lady Gaga once again proves that in addition to being a thief, she is a greedy f$%*ing bitch AND a liar when she says she doesn't care about money.

                                                                                                                                                                   

SOURCE 

Lady Gaga has taken legal action and successfully blocked Lady Goo Goo, a cartoon parody by Moshi Monsters, the popular children’s website, from performing songs such as “Peppy-razzi”.

Mind Candy, the company behind Moshi Monsters, had been hoping that Lady Goo Goo’s “Moshi Dance” might become a number-one hit after it received millions of views on YouTube.

But Lady Gaga, one of Universal Music’s most successful artists, sought an injunction just a week before the single was due to go on sale on Apple’s iTunes last month, claiming that it could cause confusion among consumers.

Moshi Monsters, which is based in East London’s “Tech City” cluster of start-ups and has 50m registered users, is still allowed to use the Lady Goo Goo character in its games but some parents may be relieved to know that her Crazy Frog-style must fall silent. 

On Monday, Justice Vos prevented Mind Candy from “promoting, advertising, selling, distributing or otherwise making available to the public The Moshi Dance or any musical work or video which purports to be performed by a character by the name of Lady Goo Goo, or which otherwise uses the name Lady Goo Goo or any variant thereon”.

Michael Acton Smith, founder and chief executive of Mind Candy, said the ruling was a “huge disappointment”, as the single was to be the first release for a new Moshi Music label. Mind Candy has successfully diversified its virtual world into a large number of physical products, including the UK’s most popular children’s magazine. 

“It’s pretty obvious that kids will be able to tell the difference between the two characters,” said Mr Smith. “The shame is that millions of kids fell in love with Lady Goo Goo’s debut single on YouTube and now won’t be able to enjoy her musical exploits. It was all done in the name of fun and we would have thought that Lady Gaga could have seen the humour behind this parody.”

                                                                                                                                                                  

She is one piece of work isn't she.  Take a listen to the song in the video below.  This is the song that Stefani blocked from being sold on iTunes because it "might cause confusion".  Seriously?  I wonder if Stefani has even heard it. Even a fetus couldn't confuse the two songs.  So now, the popular Moshi character, a favourite among small children, can sing no more, which in turn ruins the fun for so many young children as the Lady Goo Goo character was a much loved one.

"Might cause confusion".  You do know what that really means don't you.  It means that if "consumers" were to actually become confused, which they won't, they might BUY the Moshi song thinking it's Bad Romance and if that happens, Stefani doesn't get any extra money.  How is this any different than the Mini Pops, which have covered at least two Gaga songs?

Way to go Stefani!  Thanks a lot for upsetting tons of small children just so you can keep your pockets swollen. Corporate bitch is what you are.  Artist schmarist.

 LINK

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