February 9, 2016

Modern Art is Complete Crap!


Modern art is a pile of steaming horse shit and only pretentious douche canoes think it's some monumental museum pièce de résistance worthy of reverence.  Just ask Lady Gaga.  She would know.  If anyone made modern art even more insufferable and shitty than it already is, it's that annoying, over processed tow-head.  Her attempt to make art pop...or is it pop art?  Or is it art fart? Wait, isn't that something Warhol already did?  Anyway, her attempt to give it credibility was entertaining at best and at worst, mocking the intelligence of us common folk with 20/20 vision.

Modern art is for people whose heads are too small to contain their gigantic egos.  Modern art is designed for the least artistic people.  Don't believe me?  I'm not very artistic. I can draw a little and that's about it.  I create art with my mouth every time I fling a sarcastic remark in someone's direction.  But even I, a very inartistic person, is a master at modern art.  It took me a whole seven minutes to put this refuse together.  MOMA, get a room ready for me!

In this masterpiece, I put my headphones over my lint shaver.  I call it "Shave the Noise".

This little gem is a sock with a dog on it eating a dog treat.  I call it "Pointless".  Then there's this one. My magnum opus!  My Born This Way!  My hat on my toilet!

I call this one "Shit Head".

Do you know who else modern art is for?  Stupid people.  Yes, stupid people; because only stupid people would blow thousands, no, millions of dollars on garbage that just took me seven minutes to put together by grabbing random items around my apartment.  

Yet, people like Caca walk around thinking their shit smells like roses.  People like her are the type of people that bang on a canvas, stain it with their body juice and sell it on Etsy.  People like her are the type of people that are uncomfortable in situations where they are not the center of attention. People like her are the type of people that use large words to sound highly intelligent in a Palin-esque word salad that usually leaves most more confused.  People like her believes that they are so special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people.  People like her are the type of people that take themselves way too seriously and therefore have a grandiose sense of self-importance.  And finally, people like her are usually the type of people that earn, deserve and get this type of reaction.

DiCaprio deserves an Oscar just for this moment alone.