Here's a summary of the article, edited down:
"Last night, in a Madison Square Garden homecoming gig, hardly anything in her performance would suggest it was the same girl [as four years ago for Monster Ball].
Although it was billed as Artrave: The Artpop Ball, it wasn't much like pop or a rave — more like a run-of-the-mill arena-rock show, the kind where a band has a shoddy new album to flog.
She blew off her great songs to revive almost every track from the already-forgotten Artpop, her weakest album. The production values were so shoddy, it's almost like they were designed to distract you from a [confusing] set list.
Gaga came out looking flash in golden wings, a silver-spangled unitard, a Suzanne Somers wig, black fishnets and stiletto ankle boots. Her dancers promptly escorted the wings backstage. (The dancers were often drafted into roadie duty, adding to the general air of confused staging.)
Gaga mentioned that she was from New York several hundred times, yelling, "There's no place like home, motherfuckers!" But the show got off to a calamitous start with a barrage of sluggish new tracks that squashed the audience's energy level. It never really recovered.
The highlights of the night were Gaga's inspirational pep talks.
Even though her speeches tended to drag on a little long, they were more fun than the musical performances.
She did nothing at all from her best album, Born This Way, beyond sandbagging the title song by turning it into a hesitant solo piano ballad. There were thousands of people in the room who felt like singing "You & I" — but Gaga wasn't one of them.
"I have to get all kinds of prepared for how the party ends — all the lovemaking you'll be doing later tonight," Gaga promised early on. The show's actual end was considerably less climactic — after a one-song encore of "Gypsy", the house lights came up, the speakers reprised "Applause," and it was startling to realize the show was already over.
She didn't have superstar moves or hits saved up for the big finale — she decided not to do a big finale at all.
If you're a Gaga fan, especially one who witnessed the pop glory of the Monster Ball in 2010, it's no fun to see her fail on her home turf.
But truth be told, there's a vast difference between a great Gaga song and a mediocre Gaga song, and for all her glitz and grandeur, great songs are the reason so many of us adore her.
She might live for the applause-applause-applause, but it was the songs that got her there — and when she skimps on the songs, it's amazing how fast the applause dies down.
End of article.
Still too long for you? Here's a recap:
1. Run-of-the-mill a.k.a. AVERAGE "rock" show (minus the actual rock) for a "shoddy" new album.2. Artpop is her weakest album, and it's forgettable
3. Shoddy production values
4. Confusing staging - dancers doing things that are meant for other team members to do (which suggests lack of staff and/or rushed planning)
5. Yelling she was from NY hundreds of times (an exaggeration but they're clearly saying she was annoyingly repetitive)
6. Sluggish new tracks that dragged audience energy levels down (probably the worst thing a pop show could ever do)
7. The highlights of the show were her speeches, even though they dragged on (wow, how boring is the rest if a long speech is better than a dance number?)
8. The speeches were more entertaining than the rest of her show (umm, ouch!)
9. She didn't cover any audience favourites or play what they actually wanted to hear, and instead played an acoustic Born This Way which didn't seem to jive with the rest of the show and/or the general atmosphere
10. The end was anti-climactic and there was no grand finale. People were surprised that the end was "the end".
Most importantly was the end sentence : she just plain didn't deliver.
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